The words you say about yourself contribute to how you feel. How you feel contributes to how you describe yourself, and the internal conversations you have.
Feelings, thoughts, and behaviours are all inter-related. The internal self-talk we have, influences the direction we take in our path in life.
When was the last time you told yourself you were smart, or beautiful? Most people are quick to say the negative things about themselves, "you are messed up". What you think influences how you feel and therefore behave, "you are awkward", "I am not doing this right". The thing is, if you want to do great things (behaviour) it helps to be able to feel great about it (feeling) and have positive compliments about yourself (thoughts).
It is amazing every time I witness a client go from thinking negatively about him or herself to thinking positively, and how it converts into other aspects of their life. They have more motivation and confidence.
If you want things to change in life, you have to start with yourself, and a big part of that comes from working on you, and the words you say to yourself. If you think about it, when you make a commitment to yourself that you will work on you to feel good, then you will be better able to work on things outside of you, and work on other tasks and priorities that are important to you. But it starts with you.
Here's how to start:
1) Turn to supportive people in your life
Positive people who lift you up, rather than push you down are the key to internal positive talk. They make you feel good about yourself, and they remind you of the positive qualities you possess.
2) Looking for evidence
Where is the evidence for the negative things you say to yourself ("I am dumb")? Have there been times where this thought was not true? It's important to focus on balanced thinking. There were times when you didn't have the best grades in school, but there were also times when you had the top scores on tests and projects. I'm sure, there were areas in life that felt like a challenge, but also areas where you excelled, and where others came to you for help.
3) Incorporate words into your life
Write down positive quotes and words on sticky notes, or read aspirations daily to make a shift in your thinking, from negative to positive
It is important to focus on internal dialogue and make it more positive. The more you believe the postive words you tell yourself, the more power they will be. Positive self talk contributes to confidence, and self esteem. These two attributes are important, as they help you achieve and be successful in various aspects of life.