Medicine Please... The Plague Walked In

good and bad photoI made many changes in my life over the past two years. I cut out toxic people who were dragging me down, I started a business, and I made more time to engage in activities I enjoyed.

I created a world of positivity, and when a negative experience or person entered it, it was like a plague or disease. With anything, I investigated why I felt this way and realized I wasn't taking the good with the bad. Even though life is good and bad, it is so easy when you're thinking one way to be stuck in that thought pattern. We naturally relate this to negative thinking. Once you start thinking negative, it's a spiralling path where you can pick out the negative even in the most pleasant situations.

With this, it is also possible to only see the positive, even when faced with negative experiences. This is great and necessary, but it is also important to remember that there are facets of life that sometimes can't be changed. You can have a positive outlook on life, but maybe the co-worker you share your office with will always choose to be pessimistic. This goes back to the plague of negativity that enters your world when you don't want it to.  

So how do you stay positive and also accept that you cannot make others be the way you are? At the end of the day the good can't always overshadow the bad. The truth is this is life. Just because you have made positive changes in your life and trying to be the best version of you, it doesn't mean you won't come across negativity. You will meet others who are un-happy with themselves, find others angry at the world, and even have your own negative experiences which leave you feeling less positive... C'est la vie.

So here are 6 ways to take the good with the bad

1) Investigate what happened... within yourself. Ask yourself why you feel this way. What about this situation is upsetting you? Usually what upsets you is something that you may struggle with, or are still working on. Why does it bother you that your co-worker asked you if you have a happy marriage? Yes it wasn't any of her business... but do you wonder this at times yourself? Recognize where the anger is coming from.

2) Self care. If you know it's been an especially bad day because of someone else's comments or behaviour, then you know it's important to balance it out. Take a bath, go for a walk, paint your nails, or watch a movie. Whatever it is, should be something that makes you feel good.

3) Know when to accept things. It's frustrating that others act a certain way, but you have to come to accept that you can't change them, they can only change themselves. Trying to change someone is frustrating, and not likely to work.

4) Expect that all relationships have positive and negative qualities. It's when a relationship is more negative than positive that you need to rethink the relationship, and maybe even let the person go. Your own self value and happiness should not be at stake because of another person.

5) Manage the environment. Either it be work, family or at the grocery store. You will come across people who are out to take jabs at others, and make themselves feel better at another's expense. Remember that when someone is truly happy in their own lives, they would not have the time, energy, or even the mindset to put others down. The negativity they are expressing is a reflection of how they feel about themselves.

6) Keep calm and carry on. This is huge. You have to take everything with a grain of salt, let people be, just concentrate on yourself. This is hard especially when another person's attitude or behaviour is affecting you, but you have to come to terms that you only have so much control. Feeling stuck comes from not being able to let go and reading into the situation too much. It's hard to move forward if you're always looking back, holding on to the weight of yesterday.