"The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."
-Nelson Mandela
I always get inspired when I watch a show like American idol. Why? Because it's about people taking a risk, doing something scary, and who are giving it their all to live their dreams.
"What would you do if you weren't afraid?"
-Spencer Johnson
Have you ever felt like you've been stuck and you didn't know what to do? Did you lack direction? The thing is, when there is a lack of direction, you do not know what your next step will be, and there is no way you can plan. Imagine driving aimlessly on the road and not knowing your destination. You wouldn't know the best routes to take; you wouldn't know what challenges you can prepare for that you may come across in your journey. You won't know how far you have to go to get to where you want to be.
You may feel and think negatively because people in your life are negative toward you or others. This negativity may make you feel bad about yourself, and in response you may act badly toward another person. It's a vicious cycle. When a friend, co-worker, family member, or even a complete stranger makes a comment that upsets you, it may set the tone for how you feel the entire day.
It shouldn't, but sometimes it does. The reasonable answer to this would be to tune out the negativity and ignore it, but it's easier said than done, right?
It can start to take a toll if you are already having trouble in your personal life, and then come across people who are spewing negativity. This is especially so, if it happens often (certain friends, or in the workplace). Negativity can be displayed in numerous ways, such as: being rude and dismissive, being passive aggressive, silent treatment, gossip etc. With this, it is easy to take this to heart and internalize what is happening. You may start to feel like you don't have control and that others are influencing your emotions.
"When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others."
-Jennifer Louden, author
This week I started back on something that I did not do for a while. I didn't stop doing it because it was something I didn't enjoy. I didn't stop because it was hard. To be honest, I stopped because things got in the way, and it was easier to push it to the side. Never the less, I always had the intention of starting it back up again. That something was yoga.
As a therapist I hear this often. People feeling lousy about themselves because they are comparing themselves to their friends, and family in terms of where they rank in their job, how much money they make, where they live, or even their relationship status. It's normal to think about this, and is often an internal conversation you may have with yourself. Weddings, baby showers, news of a friend's career promotion, may all be reminders that you may not be where you expect yourself to be in your life journey.